"Auntie Erin"

I'm not married and I'm an only child but I love being called, "Auntie."  My dear friends Gina and Jared have the most wonderful little boy, Addison and they call me "Auntie Erin."  I love, love, love it!  And I love, love, love Addison.  He turned six weeks old on Friday.  It's been a journey to see mommy's entire pregnancy, the labor, Addison as a newborn, and now at six weeks.  It's absolutely incredible.  He is a great little person with a personality that shows itself more and more each time I see him.

I feel so much pride and joy for my friends and their son.  What a compliment (and a brief moment of selfish pride) when I was holding Addison and Gina commented, "So natural."  I feel no rush for babies of my own.  Mom wrote this in my journal on my first birthday:

"11-18-1984

Happy 1st Birthday Erin.  Read all about your day in you baby book.

Dear Erin, I can't believe you are one year old.  Where has the time gone?  I re-lived every moment today of this day a year ago.  You will never know this feeling, an indescribable one, until you, yourself, become a mother.  Don't rush the experience, but don't miss it.  I love you very much.  Mother"

Sick

The last night I was in Miami I started feeling pretty bad.  My glands in my throat felt enlarged and very sensitive and I started to develop a sore throat.  Thursday morning when I got up I felt much, much worse.  I slept the whole flight back to Boston, the rest of the day and then all of Friday.  I came back to Kansas City on Sunday feeling somewhat better, but not fully recovered.  Monday at work I felt worse, but Tuesday I felt great!  Not perfectly normal, but very, very good.  I went home, did my laundry, a little cleaning and then BAM!  Wednesday morning I woke up feeling 100% worse AGAIN!  Thursday morning I felt worse than I did the previous day.  I went to the doctor, explained what had been happening, that as time went on, I was gaining more bad symptoms and she was a little confused why it was my eight day not feeling well and I was feeling worse.  She put me on a "Z Pack" of antibiotics, and still, I wasn't feeling any better.  Now here it is, my tenth day and I'm feeling better.

Holy cow!  How long does something like this need to last?  It's been so frustrating, and I'm so proud of myself for not missing a day of work.  I did leave an hour early Thursday, but I haven't missed one day.  The only time I've ever had perfect attendance was in kindergarten.  I'm aiming for perfect attendance again, but there's no summer break to relieve me from my goal.

Trip Recap

My trip to Boston was nice.  Boy oh boy do Michael and I love eating at Toro in the South End.  He gets to go way more often than me (obviously) but both meals I've had there are nearly unbelievable.  It's not complicated or weird, simply very, very good food.  There's always just enough and I find myself announcing how I could just keep eating (what ever's on my plate) forever.  Just thinking about it tonight is making me melt.

Our trip to Miami was very nice.  We had a direct flight from Boston though the people on the plane were a little strange.  I tried to snooze.  We had Peruvian food which was tasty, then drove on to our hotel: the Trump International Beach Resort.  Let me tell you, it was very, very nice, but by the middle to end of our trip, we came to realize that we would have preferred something a little more laid back and more low key.  We've always known that's our preference, but it's good to try something different.

Our first night we spent wondering South Beach.  Being in Miami/South Beach was like nowhere I'd ever been.  I really felt like I was in a totally different country.  We hardly heard anyone speaking English for one.  Most were speaking Spanish or French.  The Art Deco architecture was great to see and the people all around us were flexing their spending power.  I lost track of all of the Bentleys, Rolls Royce, and Maseratis we saw cruising (to name a few).  Thank goodness I had my fantastic, "Dressy New Look" Prada or else I would have been outcasted.  I was surprised by the overwhelming domination of Prada-carrying ladies at our hotel.

We met Michael's great aunt in Palm Beach and had a lovely lunch and better visit.  I really enjoyed her company, her stories, her strong opinions, and her eagerness to listen to what we had to say.  I wish I could see her more often.  We spent the evening wondering around the shops at Bal Harbour.  The stores were great, but I really hit it off with a lady who works at the Marc Jacobs store.  Michael was lucky enough to find a souvenir there too!

On Wednesday we layed out on the beach for hours.  Every day we were there the weather was a perfect 80 degrees, sunny, and just enough humidity to feel refreshing.  I spent time combing around near the waves, looking for perfect shells.  I could have layed around the beach and played in the waves for days and days.  Strange that I was born and raised in a completely land locked state.

Later in the evening I started feeling crummy and it only got worse.  When we got back to Boston on Thursday I slept and slept.  On Friday I slept and slept and slept.  I came down with a terrible sore throat and my head hurt and felt too sensitive at the same time.  I was just glad that I got sick on time that I had allocated away from work, and that I was conveniently around someone who would take such good care of me.  When I started to feel better, we spent time either playing rummy or watching movies.

Michael and I had a great time together.  I felt that I had been away for so much longer than eight days, but it was only eight.  I still have my sore throat but felt much better today than I did yesterday.

Back in Boston

I'm back in Boston and tomorrow I'm off to Miami to do some serious relaxing.

Last week, Michael was able to come to Kansas City to spend some time with me, though I had to work.  Work's been great; exhausting, but really, really great.  Now that the climax of retail season is over, I'm hoping that when I return in just over a week (yay for a vacation), I'll have some time to do some more organizing, and making things more, "my own."

I'm not sure what it is about every time I visit Boston, but I never feel like I have a niche that I can settle into and get comfortable.  Perhaps if Molly was here, I had some of my things, and my own space to keep them, that might make a difference.  I never belonged to Rochester except for an education, but I made it, "my own."  I wonder what I'm really missing.  It's strange to feel like I'm, "waiting-for-the-next-thing-to-happen."  For instance, sitting around and wondering what I should do with myself, or what Michael and I will be off to do next.  Evidently, I've unconsciously owned the role of guest/visitor.  That's really not what I want to be.  So now I ask, how do I change?  Barack, will you please lend me some advice?